The more you ignore me the closer I get!

Tuesday night and I just got home from another 90 minutes of self-torture in the hot room. For the first time in a long time I actually had some fun in the class, even though I was far from perfect in a lot of poses. But as they say - it's yoga poses, not yoga perfect. I will try to embrace that more in the future.
The breathing exercise in the beginning is a strange thing. Tonight it was easy for me, it felt as it was flowing perfectly, maybe 'cos the teacher kept it fast and short, maybe I just had a better day. I sometimes find myself grasping for air, having to cheat and take an extra inhale to make it through. Not tonight.
Awkward pose tend to be pretty easy to me, I've got strong legs, while the camel is a killer. It left me feeling all dizzy and weird in the beginning of my practice - that is the few times I actually did it. I am a giver upper, did I mention that? I am stubborn as hell when it comes to certain things and then I give up far too easy when it comes to other things. Like yoga.
I recently took part in a weekend yoga seminar with Jason Winn, senior Bikram yoga teacher. Two days of intense practice and nothing else. It was interesting even if the days felt a little long at times. I realize though that it did give me something. I can't put my finger on what it is. Maybe it was the fact that I felt like I was ignored for a big part of the class after I said "I can't" when he was trying to help me through a pose in the advance series. I am a giver upper.
I tried to do a pose - don't ask what name it had, because by the time we reached that pose I was a big question mark for periods of time. I tried to push my hands through my legs while sitting in lotus and I felt like it was impossible. So I said "I can't" and I gave up. No big deal, but I understand that a guy like him don't feel like spending too much time on a guy saying "I can't" when there's a whole room of other people trying hard…
So, I felt like he kind of ignored me for the rest of the class, but it was ok. And now afterwards I can even say it was kind of helpful. I guess "I can't" doesn't exist in yoga. That's good, I think I need a lot more of that, in yoga and in the rest of my life.

Tonight's class was ok, not a super class and not mediocre either. It was ok and I enjoyed it, and that is all that matters right now.

Now I'm making some supper and I will sit down in front of the TV with my wife, my super yoga wife. She is another story - she's great at this yoga thing, but this is not her story, this is mine.
The Police is singing "Don't stand so close to me", I've got cold fingers and I look forward to the yellow pea soup!
Oh, I forgot - I do think Jason Winn is a good teacher, nothing to complaint about there!